A broken Heart?

There is nothing wrong with a broken heart. So often we go to church, talk to our friends and even go before God trying to hide our broken hearts, I mean after all “we are healed” so the idea of not being is “unacceptable” and on most occasions, if you try to bring it up there always seems to be someone “who has gone through worse and yet they survived and healed” or whatever broke your heart will be referred to a something “small, nonsensical and childish”.
For almost two years I pretended to have been healed from a heartbreak of having lost my first love. After all, he was “just a boy and there are plenty more of them in the world”. Fair and fine that is true but the problem was I didn’t want ANOTHER guy, I wanted him. But because we simply don’t “cry over boys”, let alone cry heartbreak and heart ache at 19/20 I shut the pain down and tried to pretend as if I was fine. I didn’t even want to talk to my pastor about it lest I be told I need deliverance because I knew that it wasn’t deliverance I needed but permission to hurt, to grieve and finally to move on. So I was stuck in my pain for the longest time, keeping up appearances- because I couldn’t afford to have someone even suspect that I was still in “yesterday’s pain” (which wasn’t really yesterday’s but MINE, my pain that I was carrying around).
My sister, I want to tell you today that there is nothing wrong with having a broken heart. What is wrong is trying to pretend that it is well when it is not. That pain, that anger will suffocate your heart, blind you and the enemy the foothold he needs to build a stronghold in your life. While I was in my state of broken heart I moved from relationship to relationship, afterall what says “I have moved on just fine.” louder than a new Bae? The enemy kept in confusion because I knew that I wasn’t in a state to have a healthy relationship but I still went in and found myself with a good man but I was unable to receive or give him anything good because I was so afraid of Love, afraid that if I loved him I could lose him and get hurt AGAIN so in order to protect myself I would “jump ship” as soon as I felt that he was getting close- better I leave first than him.
If someone had told me what I know today, what I am telling you now I would have made better decisions, hurt fewer people and my heart would have been healed much earlier on, Psalms 51:17 says “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit, a BROKEN AND CONTRITE HEART [broken down with sorrow], such O God, you will not despise [reject]”. When your heart is broken and you go before God he will not, he cannot reject it, if it wasn’t true the Word wouldn’t say it. I do not care what broke your heart- a tragedy beyond your control, or a bad decision you made. God is not calling you so he can judge and condemn you, no he is calling you so he can heal you and make you whole- he is waiting for you to become tired of the pretense, become tired of the pain and come running into his presence mess and all in tow. I may never understand, your best friend, your siblings, your parent and even your significant other may never understand, or care for that matter but I know some one who does. Christ cares, he understands and he is willing to take the burden away from you if you would just give him the go ahead.
Go before God today, tomorrow, every day and take that broken heart with you, he isn’t expecting you to be perfect and he will not say that just because you are a church elder, a counselor. a mother. a professional, a wife, a grown woman, or whatever you must mature enough or old deal with it yourself. Before him, our most important identity is CHILDREN, His children, and a Father ALWAYS wants to ensure that his daughters, his princesses are feeling good. There is no shame in a broken heart before God, just freedom from the pain, mending of the heart and love that sees beyond what you have done, or could possibly do, wrong.

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