So many relationships today fail because of an inadequate understanding of love.Whats is the difference between loving food and loving your favourite football team.Loving your husband and loving your children?These surely can’t be the same kind of love.For a marriage to properly function,there should be understanding and a balance of these different types of love.English is quite limited in words unlike other languages such as Greek where you can be very specific.Here are the five words for love in the Greek language:-
This is the love you have for something you are passionate about.Medicine,job,sport,football team,art,cooking,baking etc.There should be interest shown for what your partner is passionate about.When correctly put in its place,what you are passionate about can bring you and your spouse closer.What you are passionate about should be able to bring you closer and not further from each other.And what your partner is passionate about shouldn’t dominate their life to an extent that it brings disharmony in marriage.Pray that your passions may be able to bring you closer and not drift you apart.May your jobs not come in the way of your marriage.
This is the sexual love. It is acceptable only within the confines of marriage.It’s completely sensual and based on feelings.Feelings rise and fall so it cannot be a base for a good marriage.We will go deeper into this type of love tomorrow.For now pray that you and your fh/husband may get understanding of eros love according to the manual not what people think or say.
This is love one has for their friend. This is the type of love David and Jonathan had for each other.In marriage,phileo love creates an environment for the couple to share their deepest thoughts and inmost selves and allows them to have fun and be free around each other. It produces a strong bond between people.|“The greatest love people can show is to die for their friends. You are my friends if you do what I tell you to do.”John 15:13-14 ERV| Pray that your fh/husband may be your friend.This may sound like a light prayer but it is very important as some couples don’t have phileo love in their marriage.
This is the love of family relationships-the love of parents toward their children and that of children toward their parents.It is also the love that can be found in extended families.It is also the love between brethren in the family of God. In the Bible this love is found in multiple instances,for example,the love Abraham had for his son Isaac Genesis 22.2,the love found in Martha and Mary who lost their brother Lazarus(John 11),the love Noah had for his wife and children,just to mention a few.|“Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.”Proverbs 17:17 MSG|
This is the love that was revealed through Jesus Christ,and is given freely to all who become the children of God by faith.|“Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him would not be lost but have eternal life.’’John 3:16 ERV| It’s the love God has for His people as well as the love His people give back to Him.It is also the kind of love that the people of God are commanded to have toward one another,the only love not based on feelings.It’s unconditional and has no expectations.It’s the 1st Corinthians 13 type of love and God alone is the source of it and apart from Him,one cannot agape love.It doesn’t require an emotion to function.It’s based on a decision to follow what the Word says and drawing the strength to love this way from your relationship with Christ,and not how you feel or how your partner makes you feel.It is a self-giving,sacrificial love that is not selfish but rather pours itself for the sake of others. Seeing that marriage is modeled after the relationship between Christ and the church,husbands are told to love their wives with this kind of sacrificial,selfless love,the one we prayed about yesterday.|“Husbands, love your wives the same as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.”Ephesians 5:25|
All these types of love must be present and working together in a marriage all the time.One or two without the other(s) is incomplete.
Phileo love alone is too general for marriage,if a married couple feel the same toward each other as they do toward their friends,their marriage is headed for trouble.
Marriage without agape is chaotic and selfish and is usually full of quarrels.
Marriage without phileo leads to a wicked husband or an unkind wife and is boring.
Marriage without eros usually strains the relationship of the couple and leads to adultery.Such marriages are very common among Christians as some couples are too religious and end up having a boring eros love.
Marriage with only eros love is usually short-lived going as far as the physical attraction and what drew the people together in the first place.
A marriage with one or the two people too passionate about their jobs,sport etc falls apart as they never find time for each other.
A marriage with one or both of the partners focusing more on their parents,children or friends brings disharmony in the family.
It’s very important to find the balance and make sure all these types of love are present and balanced in a marriage with Agape being the backbone.Understand that all the other types of love are not sufficient base upon which a meaningful and lasting relationship can be built.When properly expressed though,they can be beautiful expressions of the true love,agape,but not one of them by itself is good enough.
Pray that you and your fh/husband may be able to have all these types of love present and well distributed in your marriage.Draw prayer points from this,there are many prayers that you can get to pray for your marriage and your fh/husband.