Submission of a woman

Genesis 2:18 Ephesians 5:2, 21-22,33 Colossians 3:18 1 Peter 3:1 

 I know that for many women today this subject is very touchy and hypersensitive but I will attempt to tackle it anyway. This thing of submission is so abused and distorted today, to begin with, let’s be clear about a few things first.

1: Submission is a wife’s gift to HER husband, not to every male out there. So please let’s get rid of the idea that a woman must be submissive to all men she interacts with. If he is not her husband then know that she doesn’t owe it to him. Therefore if the way she is working for her husband sit down my brother and either focus on your wife or get yourself a wife. Brothers and fathers alike, your daughters and sisters are not there to submit to you- that’s your wife’s job and she is not your wife.

2: Submission is not a license to abuse your wife or use her as a doormat. If you read Ephesians 5:25-31 it will tell you how to treat your submissive wife. Basically love her the way you love yourself. So before you go and start demanding that she submits look in the mirror, tell yourself to step up and love her. Take from a woman- it is easier to submit to a loving man because you know you are safe so letting will not worry you as much. PS. she is not your servant so please do not treat her as such. To be submissive is to let someone else lead but it does not mean to let them lord over you while you just “yes sir, ok sir”. At the end of the day gentlemen, you too have a part to play. This concept works best in an environment of love and it is your responsibility to build and maintain it. Before she submits you owe her respect (she should reciprocate of course) and while she is submissive you owe her a love so real, so strong that your life literarily depends on it. Play your part men.

Having explained all of that let me say what I wanted to say lol

After creation, all was well…. That is until temptation and the fall of Adam and Eve (well mankind really). As punishment Eve was told she would have severe pain in childbirth and she would have to SUBMIT to her husband. The talk of pain to, and in, a woman is for another day- today we will focus on submission. Submission was a concept introduced as punishment but it turned out so well that today it is used to describe the church’s relationship with Christ. We must remember that this is a MARRIAGE concept though, not a common concept. So outside of holy matrimony eg. at work or school this does not, and should not be applied.

I have come to realize that the reason saw submission as a fitting punishment for the woman because of the power (authority) he had put in her during creation. The word submit means to serve, to lower yourself. Submission is NOT doing laundry, cooking and other household chores- if it was then chefs, maids, and even washing machines or dry cleaners would all automatically qualify to be called “wives” because they too do all these things. No, it is a state of the mind and heart- a woman could not do chores in her house because they have the necessary help to do so and still.m be called a good submissive wife. To submit is a VOLUNTARY ACTION, it implies having power but choosing to give it up and surrender.

The power in a woman. The enemy saw this and chose to exploit it. Does anyone wonder why the serpent chose Eve rather than Adam? The fact that Eve convinced Adam to take a bite of the apple is proof that Adam’s resolve was unmovable. Is it possible that the enemy knew that, had he tempted Adam first, Adam wouldn’t have had the power to convince Eve to follow suit? Of what use would only half a corrupted people be to the devourer? He saw what Eve and women throughout the ages have not yet come to understand- simply put it is the fact that:  WOMEN HAVE THE POWER.

Men, being created first, have an inborn pride. A pride that defines them, and yet it is so fragile. This is why Paul, whenever he spoke of marriage, stresses this concept of submission. I know that today certain feminist ideals appear to reject this notion and I’m tempted to believe that this is one of the major reasons marriages today are falling apart- we are moving further and further away from the ultimate blueprint of how households must be structured (according to the Word of God) in the name of being modern and keeping up with the times.

I almost feel like women have taken a bite of another toxic apple- from the tree of “power and freedom”. The problem is we have let it get to our heads, we are almost drunk on this power and freedom, letting ourselves run amok. I would say that we are now behaving like toddlers in a candy store- taking it all, even that which we do not need, forgetting too much of anything is bad (it is the explanation for reasons why some women want to take their degrees, job titles and paychecks home to their husbands to prove why they too deserve respect in the house- even without all that it is your God-given right as a wife). As Christian women, we need to realize that we were created as “helpers”, not as heads, but helpers. Let me tell you though, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a helper. For Jesus even said he who HELPS a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward (Matthew 10:41). Meaning that a helper and the helped are equal before God. We must try to learn not to get hung up on titles. Remember that even the leader must serve those he leads (Luke 22:26) meaning that everyone must serve everyone in one capacity or other ie our husbands too must be like our servants as they lead us.

Let us not underestimate the role of a helper though. Helpers usually deserve more credit than is given to them and are more powerful than the one that needs help. All the same, we will always be exactly that- helpers, because that’s what we are created and designed for. We are pretty much the crutches of the men in our lives, ladies, their braces, their support, like their night-vision goggles. Yes, they need us to function but, let me warn you, it is this need that makes us useful and then we try to overtake them there’s a problem. Because even the wrong use of crutches can damage a healthy leg, just as night vision goggles can blind the user if used in daylight.

We have been wondering why men shy away from “tough, powerful, independent” women……the answer is simple: they can see and sense that they are not needed (again it’s about their pride). I mean if the crutches can move on their own, the braces stand alone and the goggles see without eyes, then of what use is the person? They are useless, right? But ask yourself this…… What good are self-using tools if they don’t improve the lives of people? NOTHING. So is a woman who claims that she “doesn’t need anything from a man”. The men shy away because their pride tells them that they aren’t needed and so they retreat. Men need to feel wanted and needed, it boosts their egos and gives them the ability to hold their heads up in society- they don’t want to feel “emasculated” or inadequate because that is how God designed them. (He commanded them to work and provide so it is just within them to have to feel useful and like leaders).

I am not in any way condoning laziness in women. I’m not saying we must sit and do nothing more than wait for our men to do all the work. The Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t sit around doing nothing but she works, and she works hard (for even working and bringing something to the table is to be a “suitable helper”). But even as she works she knows her place, and her husband adores her for it. So yes ladies, let us “slay” and “get our own” but that does not take away why we created- to help, and what we were commanded to do- to submit. Knowing that the sweetest of smiles and gentlest of proddings will get the men to do as we want faster than the most brutal and harshest of forces.

Our job is to make up for his weaknesses but we must not rub them in his face. Cover up for his inadequacies but don’t bury him in them. Instead, like Queen Esther let us use the gift of being a woman, the power of prayer, and the knowledge of our place to sway the men in our lives in the direction we want (a direction I pray that is Godly and good). Doing our jobs in submission- a quiet, slight, and yet very powerful way of wielding the power we bear, as a woman, as God’s daughter, as his Princess and a Queen.
Remember the state of your husband is a direct reflection of you and your ability to help, just as your well-being is a reflection of him and his ability to ‘lead’. If either one of you looks bad as an individual then your partner looks equally bad because the day you said, “I DO” you became one before God and man (Genesis 2:24). Both husband and wife have a part to play after all you are a team, so remember these 2 facts:

1. There is no “I” in team.

2： You are only as strong as your weakest link.