Submission of a woman

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Genesis 2:18 Ephesians 5:2, 21-22,33 Colossians 3:18 1 Peter 3:1 

 I know that for may women today this subject is very touchy and hyper sensitive but I will attempt to tackle it anyway. This thing of submission is so abused and distorted today to begin with let’s be clear about a few things first.
1: Submission is a wife’s gift to HER husband, not to every male out there. So please stop this twisted idea that a woman must be submissive to men. If you are not her husband then know that that she doesn’t owe it to you. Therefore if the way she is works for  her husband sit down my brother and either focus on your own wife or get yourself a wife. Brothers and fathers alike, your daughters and sisters are not there to submit to you- that’s your wife’s job and she is not your wife.
2: Submission is not a license to abuse your wife or use her as a doormat. If you read Ephesians 5:25-31 it will tell you how to treat your submissive wife. Basically love her the way you love yourself. So before you go and start demanding that she submits look in the mirror, tell yourself to step up and love her. Take from a woman- it is easier to submit to a loving man because you know you are safe so letting will not worry you as much. PS. she is not your servant so please do not treat her as such. To be submissive is let someone else lead but it does not mean to let them lord over you while you just “yes sir, ok sir”. At the end of the day gentlemen you too have a part to play. This concept works best in an environment of love and it is your responsibility to build and maintain it. Before she submits you owe her respect (she should reciprocate of course) and while she is submissive you owe her a love so real, so strong that your life literarily depends on it. Play your part men.
Having explained all of that let me say what I wanted to say lol

After creation all was well…. That is until temptation and the fall of Adam and Eve (well mankind really). As punishment Eve was told she would have severe pain in childbirth and she would have to SUBMIT to her husband. The talk of pain to, and in, a woman is for another day- today we will focus on submission. Submission was a concept introduced as punishment but it turned out so well that today it used to describe the church’s relationship with Christ. We must remember that this is a MARRIAGE concept though, not a common concept. So outside of holy matrimony eg.at work or school this does not, and should not be applied.

I have come to realize that the reason saw submission as a fitting punishment for the woman because of the power (authority) he had put in her during creation. The word submit means to serve, to lower yourself. Submission is NOT doing laundry, cooking and other household chores- if it was then chefs, maids and even washing machines or dry cleaners would all automatically qualify to be called “wives”because they too do all these things. No, it actually a state of the mind and heart- a woman could not do chores in her house because they have the necessary help to do so around the house and still.be called a good,.submissive wife. To submit is a VOLUNTARY ACTION, it implies having power but choosing to give it up and surrender.

The power in a woman. The enemy saw this it and chose to exploit it. Does anyone wonder why the serpent chose Eve rather than Adam? The fact that Eve convinced Adam to take a bite of the apple is proof that Adam’s resolve was unmovable. Is it possible that the enemy knew that, had he tempted Adam first, Adam wouldn’t have had the power to convince Eve to follow suit? Of what use would only half a corrupted people be to the devourer? He saw what Eve, and women throughout the ages have not yet come to understand- simply put it is the fact that:  WOMEN HAVE THE POWER.

Men, being created first, have an inborn pride. A pride that defines them, and yet it is so fragile. This is why Paul, whenever he spoke of marriage, stresses the this concept of submission. I know that.today certain feminist ideals appear reject this notion and I’m tempted to believe that this is one of the major reasons marriages today are falling apart- we are.moving.further and further away from the ultimate blueprint of how households must be structured (according to the Word of God) in the name of being modern and keeping up with the times.

I almost feel like women have once again taken a bite of another apple- from the tree of “power and freedom”. The problem is we have let it get to our heads, we are almost drunk on this power and freedom, letting ourselves run amok. I would say that we are now behaving like toddlers in a candystore- taking it all, even that which we do not need, forgetting too much of anything is bad (it is the explanation for reasons why some women want to take their degrees, job titles and pay checks home to their husbands to prove why they too deserve respect in the house- even without all that it is your God-given right as a wife). As Christian women we need to realize that we were created as “helpers”, not as heads, but helpers. Let me tell you though, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a helper. For Jesus even said he who HELPS a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward (Matthew 10:41). Meaning that a helper and the helped are equal before God. We must try to learn not to get hung up on titles. Remember that even the leader must serve those he leads (Luke 22:26) meaning that everyone must serve everyone in one capacity or other ie our husbands too must be like our servants as they lead us.

Let us not underestimate the role of a helper though. Helpers usually deserve more credit than is given them, and are more powerful than the one that needs help. All the same we will always be exactly that- helpers, because that’s what we are created and designed for. We are pretty much the crutches of the men in our lives, ladies, their braces, their support, like their night-vision goggles. Yes, they need us to function but, let me warn you, it is this need that makes us useful and the we try to overtake them there’s a problem. Because even the wrong use of crutches can damage a healthy leg, just as night vision goggles can blind the user if used in daylight. 

We have been wondering why men shy away from “tough, powerful, independent” women……the answer is simple: they can see and sense that they are not needed (again it’s about their pride). I mean if the crutches can move on their own, the braces stand alone and the goggles see without eyes, then of what use is the person? They are useless right? But ask yourself this…… What good are self-using tools if they don’t improve the lives of people? NOTHING. So is a woman who claims that she “doesn’t need anything from a man”. The men shy away because their pride tells them that they aren’t needed and so they retreat. Men need to feel wanted and needed, it boosts their egos and gives them the ability to hold their heads up in society- they do want want to feel “immasculated” or in adequate because that is how God designed them. (He commanded them to work and provide so it is just within them to have to feel useful and like leaders).

I am not in anyway condoning laziness in women. I’m not saying we must sit and do nothing more than wait for our men to do all the work. For the Proverbs 31 doesn’t sit around doing nothing but she works, and she works hard (for even working and bringing something to the table is to be a “suitable helper”). But even as she works she knows her place her place, and he husband adores her for it. So yes ladies, let us “slay” and “get our own” but that does not take away why we created- to help, and what we were commanded to do- to submit. Knowing that the the sweetest of smiles and gentlest of prodings will get the men to do as we want faster than the most brutal and harshest of forces.

Our job is to make up for his weaknesses but we must not rub them in his face. Cover up for his inadequacies but don’t bury him in them. Instead like Queen Esther let us use the gift of being a woman, the power of prayer and the knowledge of our place to sway the men in our lives in the direction we want (a direction I pray that is Godly and good). Doing our jobs in submission- a quiet, slight and yet very powerful way of wielding the power we bear, as a woman, as God’s daughter, as his Princess and a Queen. 
Remember the state of your husband is a direct reflection of you and your ability to’help’, just as your well-being is a reflection of him and his ability to ‘lead’. If either one of you looks bad as an individual then their partner looks equally bad because the day you said, “I DO” you became one before God and man (Genesis 2:24). Both husband and wife have a part to play after all you are a team, so remember these 2 facts:

1. There is no “I” in team.

2: You are only as strong as.your weakest link.

Royalty Of a Woman

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1 Peter 2:9; 1 Kings 10:1-13; Esther 1:9-19

Royalty has always intrigued me from a tender age, as I’m sure it has almost every girl, of every social standing to whom the concept has been exposed, There is an age when everyone wants to dress up as a Princess and feel special all the time. As a child, I  had a conversation with my mum in which she told me that my dad belonged to a long line of Chiefs ( which she explained to me was almost like a king of some sort)  and that her Tanzanian ancestors had been royalty,  which made her a Princess by descent. I remember the information made me so excited I asked, “ If you’re a princess that married a chief-to-be does that make me a double princess?” The young me didn’t realize that royalty s royalty be it by one parent or both lol. What I didn’t realize in that moment was that their “royal” blood didn’t carry much weight in the world today. In my mind I was a princess by birth and so I set certain standards for myself that I believed princesses must follow, many of them measured against our beloved Disney Princesses:)

Today though I have come to realize that I am part of a great Royal Family, THE Royal Family, with you, him, her,  Anyone who is Christ really. Men, women and children alike, doesn’t matter what you look like, where you are from, what you look like, what you have or lack. We are all one big ROYAL FAMILY, co-heirs to the throne. My question today is: WHAT IS IT THAT SETS A WOMAN’S ROYALTY FROM  THAT OF A MAN???? I will explore this from a worldly perspective first before I look at what the Word has to say about this.

I was intrigued when I learnt that if a woman marries into a certain station, she receives the corresponding  title. She may be a commoner without much to her her name but once she marries him she is seen to be of his matching rank. If he is a Prince she becomes a Princess. If he was a King she becomes his Queen. This however does not apply if the situation is reversed, after marriage the man will receive a title but one that is below her. If a man who is not a king marries a queen he becomes a Prince! (A station below that of his wife). So  woman’s character and ability to capture the heart of a man of a certain station  is enough to raise her up to that same level. I wondered why this was and at first I did not like what it implied- that a woman is defined by who she marries. Then it dawned on me! A woman bears the next generation of this family and God forbid that a future king, or queen, would one day be ridiculed because everyone called their mother as a lowly commoner. No one would dare to speak ill of the Queen who has brought forth the crown-heir. People tend to afford a family as much respect as the “mother of the house” warrants, Think about chess, yes Chess! What is the most powerful piece on the board? It is the queen, in fact the king is virtually useless in the game. The fact that this game came about to reflect a near real-life representation of the hierarchy and importance during war situations says a lot. Simply put it means that without a queen a kingdom is in big trouble.

The Bible mentions its fair share of queens but I want to focus on the most popular 4- the Queen of Sheba, Queen Vashti, Queen Esther and Jezebel.

While many kings sent dignitaries and diplomats to hear of Solomon’s wisdom (1 Kings 4:34) the Queen of Sheba made the trip herself to verify Solomon’s ‘so-called’ wisdom. She was not content to just to hear and take other people’s word for it, she wanted to not only see it for herself but she took it a step further and decided to CHECK! She is the only visiting royalty that is recorded to have challenged Solomon with her “difficult” questions. Solomon was and still is the richest man to ever live yet the Queen of Sheba arrived on her visit with such pomp and fair, approaching this vastly wealthy king with the best she had to offer as if they were equals. She refused to be intimidated by Solomon’s wealth and wisdom. She not only gave a record amount of gifts, she dared to ask him questions that were worth recording as ‘hard’. This woman knew a secret I wish more women out there knew- just by being a woman, a queen she was his equal and would treat him as such. No amount of money, or wisdom, can trump being a queen. Sadly today too many of us are being intimidated by men and their statuses- be it money, academic achievements or whatever, forgetting that none of that can ever dull the shine of being a woman, a queen. Many ladies today have resorted to aiming lower so the guys don’t find us intimidating or, worse still, going to the other extreme and trying to become “men unto ourselves”. Both these approaches are wrong! Look up, dress up, show up and challenge the men, not t prove that you can be a man, but to show that you are more- you are woman and that is what sets you with him or above him. Let him know that it’s neither his money nor his social status (or his backward thinking) that will make you lose sight of who you are. Be the Queen of Sheba that rises up to the occasion, knows her worth, and will not allow anything, or anyone, to make you lose sight of your throne.

The issue of thrones brings me to beautiful Queen Vashti- a woman who knew that her dignity was more important than some measly throne. The drunk king had thought it appropriate to call her out and ‘display’ how beautiful she was. What he didn’t count on was that he was dealing with a queen that knew her worth. Vashti knew that as queen she could not allow herself to be ogled and ridiculed by those below her rank. She knew that she was only for the viewing pleasure of her king. Yet many of us today are the opposite- we want to be looked at and ‘admired’ by eyes that we know have no respect for us at all. We have lost the “Queen’s Dignity” and are happily carrying ourselves more like the king’s concubines instead. How you portray yourself is how the men will treat you, if you carry yourself as a sex-bomb then that is how you will be viewed, if you carry yourself as unattractive then the same follows. We would all like to believe that it is what’s on the inside that matters but more  often that not what’s on the inside s reflected on the outside. How can I respect you if you do not respect yourself? No throne here on earth is worth discarding the royal status you deserve.

Jezebel was one such woman, who was all about the status to the point that it lost her her title, her life. She may not have been booted off the throne like Queen Vashti but her behaviour was so deplorable that she was, in writing (and I bet you in the hearts of her people as well) stripped of the title “Queen”. Not once do you hear people call her Queen Jezebel ( she was the daughter of a king yet even then she isn’t even called princess Jezebel, 1 Kings 16:31)  , she is referred to as Jezebel, like a simple commoner. This just show that you cannot be considered a Queen, or Princess, by simple birthright or marriage ( consider the number of evil kings and prices that we still call by their titles). No the title is sealed by certain character traits. A queen, a princess, is a mother, a sister,  a friend, a source of pride and dignity: basically she is the heart of the people and an example of what to be for all other women within her realm of influence.

Consider Esther,  a lowly unknown orphan girl in some inconspicuous corner rose to become  Queen Esther- she was born a commoner but she blossomed, grew and matured until her behavior won her the love and of the King,  and eventually the freedom of her people. She wasn’t raised with a silver spoon in her mouth but she carried herself in a way that those around her saw the good in her, the royal qualities she possessed. So strong were these qualities that the day she was presented before him, he knew he had found his queen and immediately ended the search (what favour!). Se was probably not the most attractive of the bunch but she was the one who possessed that”it” factor the king was searching for.

Imagine that the battle of royal branding falls between a simple orphan girl and a “true” blue blood. Each has a page in history and yet the story each one weaved is so different from the other. One lost the title “queen” and another earned hers, both outcomes based on the decision each woman made at every stage of her life, based strictly on behaviour. Just in case this principle was somehow conceived in the minds of those that rode the bible because they were Jewish and one woman was a Jew but another wasn’t, or that it was some sort of biblical mishap or something along those lines. Let me quickly remind you of Marie- Antoinette and Princess Diana- a commoner and a blue blood, yet one lost the heart of her people, her title, her throne and eventually her life and the other won over a people that were not too keen on their Crown Prince marrying a “nobody” ( she is now arguably one of the most loved members of the royal family to date). All this just goes to show that royalty is a state of the heart and about how you carry yourself. To be a king/prince may be to be a leader, a boss but to be  queen/princess is to be a servant-leader, a beacon of hope.

So what is the state of your heart? How do you carry yourself? Do you inspire, bring life and hope? Are you  a good example for all those around you ( can the men in your life say they hope their daughter/wives/sisters reflect your personality traits)? Or are you always the example of what not to do/say? Are you like Wreck It Ralph that constantly wrecks havoc (especially with our tongues ladies). Remember you cannot carry yourself and behave like a commoner (like everyone else) then expect to be seen and viewed as a queen ( the chosen few). Be principled but stay humble- remember on the day of crowning the Queen still had to lower her head to get crowned. Yet that is only the final step before she rises above even he that has crowned her.  

Creation of a Woman

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GEN 2:18,22-23

While HOW a woman was created has never been questioned,  the WHY she was created after man, and what this means, has always fascinated me due to the amount of verbal fracas it always causes when the story of the creation of mankind comes up. Today I want to explore what the possible answer could be.

The Lord took the rib of a man to create a woman… this undoubtedly means that part of the woman is derived from,  and simply is,  a man.  I mean even the name we flaunt around so proudly is partly man (woMAN).  This essentially means, well to me atleast,  that the completion of a man is in a woman and the foundation of a woman is a man. I would like to call it my “completion-foundation” theory.

Let us look at the “completion” aspect first.  When God looked at man he was not satisfied with leaving man alone so he decided to make him a ‘well-suited helper’. He then went on to remove a rib from the man to create a woman.  Some say he removed the ribs because they are in the middle of the body to show that man and woman must meet 50-50,  personally I don’t really know so I will leave it for you to decide.  All I knew is God took SOMETHING from man that He had initially thought necessary for man to have on his person.  What this something is,  I don’t know all I know is it was moved from man to woman.  This doesn’t mean the man suddenly didn’t need this ‘something’,  for we all know God would never create anything useless,  it just means God saw woman as a better designed to carry it.  Man instinctively still wants what was removed,  and I presume that’s why society believes that a man needs a woman by his side.  I’m also guessing that’s why women are so influential in building,  or destroying,  a man.

Now moving on to the “foundation” idea,  which I know some ladies will not accept as easily as the “completion” idea.  In order to understand a woman one must understand the men in her life. Deny it and fight it though we may try there is no denying- it’s a man’s world and women just “decorate” it.  Simply put women have been,  will be and can be because men are- they are the foundation upon which women are built. It probably sounds derogatory to many but that’s because many do not understand the power and significance of decorations. Ask an interior designer and they will be better equipped to explain how they do that.

Let me help you put it in context- if the world was a house the men would be the structure- foundation,  floors,  walls,  roof; plain,  simple and useless, in a way. I mean even a room built to be a kitchen cannot really be called a kitchen until it has all the kitchen appliances,  neither can a shower be called a shower without any tiles,  shower head,  sink, and everything else we need in a shower to make it fully functional.  At the same time a bunch of kitchen appliances or shower material in a shop cannot make the shop a kitchen or a bathroom.  The idea of the power of interior decor can be as simple as the difference between painting a room black or white. Or by looking at different shades of blue, how each hue can give the room completely different atmospheres.  Such is a woman,  a subtle,  yet powerful way to change a man, to change the world.

Growing up people always said I looked like my older brother,  it used to annoy me because no girl wants to be told she looks like a guy.  However one day I turned to one of these people,  smiled sweetly and said “God realized that to create the beauty that is me he needed to create a draft first so he made my brother.“ It was only recently that the same can be said to explain why woman was created after man. I may not be my brother’s missing rib but I’d like to believe that I’m someone else’s rib.  Just as I’m tis special someone’s rib, I can say he is my true blueprint- meaning when we become one everything he is I am that and more,  the bad included. So the more his achieves after we meet,  the more I too will be achieving because simply put we will be a reflection of each other (except I will be the 4D if he is 3D lol). Even Myles Monroe acknowledged this when he called women “incubators”- he knew that anything a man can do, or provide a woman will upgrade and amplify it.

All this does bring to light the fact that without man woman is incomplete,  or even totally nonexistent.  Without man woman simply becomes “Wo” or rather “Who?”. Truth be told we women are usually reactors to what men say and do to us yet men just seem to act any which way they decide.  Even Feminism is a reaction to the unfair political,  economic,  social and religious standards set by men, for women,  to suite te men. Had men never manipulated all these factors Feminism wouldn’t be necessary because the equality we fight for today wouldn’t be necessary.  

Actually what I have learn’t is that the fact that man is the foundation of woman is woman’s greatest advantage though. It simply means that everything they are we are that too, and more.  That’s why a woman’s influence on a man is much stronger than a man’s influence on a woman.  Often to get to a man you simply have to go through his favorite woman,  it can be his wife,  sister,  girlfriend,  daughter or whatever and yet to get to a woman you have to go through a close person,  male or female doesn’t really matter, it just differs from woman to woman.  Women and men are just wired differently this way.

Just as man can be considered the core of woman,  woman is most definitely the missing part of man. It’s easy for a woman to grasp and understand men because,  in essence,  she is part man but for a man to understand her it’s difficult because she was created to be more,  and is more.  This is why being a woman must never be taken lightly it’s a gift that yields great power.  But we must remember that with great power comes great responsibility.